I Masturbated With So Much Reverse-Aging Cream, Kevin Spacey Started Texting Me
Everyone knows girls get all the good lotions, leaving men to fend for themselves or steal good lotion from their girlfriends, wives or hotels. Gentlemen, beware! While the technological advances may be great for your sweety's skin and youthful looksy -- anti-aging or reverse aging can be hazardous to your penis!
At first, Neutrogena's Reverse-Aging Serum felt great -- and while it was weird my right hand and penis were much smoother than the rest of my body, things escalated quickly. Some Benjamin Button shit started happening below the belt buckle:
- A few more sessions and my pubes began to disappear
- Shortly thereafter I had a wet dream
- A few more and my penis began to shrink
- Another week and my balls un-dropped
- Then finally, last week I had used so much that Kevin Spacey texted me 'You up?'
I was flattered to meet him for a chic brunch in SoHo -- but when I got there, he didn't like the look of my beard, and promptly left the Chuck E Cheese's.