Twittersphere Outraged At Continued Use of Mistletoe, A Long Celebrated Symbol of Unwanted Sexual Advances

Mistletoe, the rapist of the flora species, has finally been getting the scrutiny it has earned after years of abuse has gone unchecked under its branches. Flowers have long been linked with romance — roses are red, violets are blue. Roses and violets have symbolized romance and love for years. But, some plants are in a little more hot water than others. A plant that says ‘merely standing under me isa green light for kissing and/or sexual advnaces’ is public enemy #2.

The only bright spot for mistletoe was that it doesn’t hold the number one spot. That was won handily by corsages, which say ‘hey, I’m going to finger you tonight.’