Sommelier at Outback Steakhouse Has Tough Time Pushing Subtle Reds

Will Fehrig had just finished his sommelier certification and exam – he passed.  Two years of studying, ruthless competition, and sacrifice had positioned him for a life of success, following his passion.  Problem was – horrible job market.  The lone opportunity that came along was with popular Bloomin’ Brands Inc. subsidiary, Outback Steakhouse… in Birmingham, Alabama.  I’ll pay my dues, he thought – sharpen my on-the-job acumen, and build from there.

During his first week, he stumbled.  There were three bottles of red wine on the list – a 2019 Yellowtail Merlot, a 2020 Barefoot Cellars Cabernet, and a 2018 Mark West Pinot Noir – it wasn’t the reserve list for which he’d hope, but he didn’t mind the subtlety of the Pinot and at $3 more per bottle, he resolved to push that.

His first night of service, he brought his A-game.  He filled the clientele with so much pompous and elitist bullshit, going to the back of the playbook to claim taste profiles like ‘freshly cut garden hose, tennis ball can, and even made up fruits like loganberry. He pushed the complex profiles of the Pinot Noir, only to run into the buzzsaw questions that slammed him back down to Earth:  “do you think the Pinot is robust enough to stand up to the ‘Australian Fire Rootin’ Tootin’ Cajun Ribeye topped with Dynamite Shrimp?’

Will stole three cases of Pinot Noir that night and never returned to work.